God Among Men
by Christine M. Greenleaf
Summary: Maxie Zeus is brought into Arkham Asylum after his battle with Batman in "Fire From Olympus," and mistakes the other Arkham inmates for fellow Greek gods. This isn't initially a problem, until Zeus starts living up to his namesake and expects the other inmates to live up to theirs.
1. Chapter 1

**God Among Men**

"These environs do not flatter the residents of Olympus, daughter," said Maxie Zeus, as he was led down the corridor of Arkham Asylum by Dr. Leland. "Why should gods be confined to such small and dimly lit cells by mere mortals?"

"Because…um…oh mighty Zeus…the full light of their glory might…erm…blind the mortals," invented Dr. Leland. "The only way gods can walk among men is to try and act like them."

Zeus snorted. "It is impossible for the gods of Olympus to hide their glory, my daughter," he retorted. "Surely you, noble Athena, as goddess of wisdom, understand this?"

"Oh…yes…mighty Zeus," stammered Dr. Leland. "But you have taken the form of a mere man before. Surely you can recall a life where you did not always possess the full glory of a god?"

"I can…dimly remember some such past," murmured Zeus. He shook his head suddenly. "But it is gone. Here is where I belong now. Here among my fellow gods."

"Yes, well…I'd like to try and talk to you about that past soon, so try to remember, mighty Zeus," said Dr. Leland. They arrived at the cafeteria. "And…erm…enjoy the meatloaf."

"Meatloaf?" he repeated. "Hardly the food of gods."

"Sadly we don't have the budget of gods," retorted Dr. Leland. "I'll see you later…oh mighty Zeus."

She sighed and returned to her office. She definitely needed to check up on her Greek mythology before she could possibly deal with this guy.

Maxie Zeus entered the cafeteria. "Greetings, fellow Olympians!" he called to the room at large. Everyone looked up at him in surprise. "Greetings, Janus, oh two-faced one," he said, passing down the table and nodding at Two-Face. "And Demeter, beautiful and gentle goddess of the harvest," he said, nodding at Poison Ivy.

He paused at the Joker. "I'm afraid I do not immediately recognize you, clownish one."

"Yeah? You mean there ain't no Greek god of laughs?" chuckled Joker. "Humorless bunch of skirt-wearing nutjobs. Present company excepted, of course," he chuckled.

"Hermes was quite the trickster," spoke up Jonathan Crane. "Or Dionysus, god of wine and frivolity. I'm sure you could have your pick of either."

Zeus stared at Crane. "Dear Apollo, knowlegeable God of truth and poetry," he murmured. "I trust in your wisdom."

"Oh…thank you," said Crane. "Of course I've read about Greek mythology…"

"Then you know tales of me," said Zeus, taking a seat next to him. "Regale me, oh great one, with stories of my exploits."

"Erm…I'd rather not with ladies present," said Crane, looking at Ivy. "You're not the most…um…reserved of men. There was that time you turned into a swan and…um…forced yourself upon a woman. Also that time you turned into a bull and did the same. Or rain…"

"Jesus Christ, what was up with these Greeks?" demanded Joker. "Bunch of freaks and weirdos!"

"I won't mention Hera then," said Crane. "Both Zeus's wife and sister."

Joker gazed at Zeus disdainfully. "And this is the guy you wanna model yourself on Zeusy? I don't mind telling you, that's really sick."

"How dare you insult the king of the gods, clownish one!" demanded Zeus, standing up. "Dost thou not know I could call a storm of thunderbolts down upon thine head?! Beg forgiveness from mighty Zeus, or you shall feel his wrath!"

"I can tell somebody was an amateur actor once!" chuckled Joker. "You really know how to project, I'll give ya that…"

"Do not mock the mighty Zeus!" shouted Zeus. "Or you will be struck down where you stand!"

"I'm sitting, dummy," retorted Joker.

"You have sealed your fate!" shouted Zeus. "Mighty Zeus shall…"

The door to the cafeteria opened again, and Harley Quinn bounced into the room. "Hiya, puddin'," she cooed, cuddling Joker and kissing his cheek. "Missed you during my therapy session! Who's this?" she asked, smiling at Zeus.

"You remember the new guy who got admitted, Harley," said Joker. "The freak obsessed with Greek mythology? He thinks he's Zeus, and he puts on a good show, I must say. A little melodramatic, maybe, but who am I to talk?" he chuckled.

"Nice to meet you, Zeus," said Harley, holding out her hand and smiling. Zeus just stared at her.

"And thou art…Aphrodite," he breathed. "Most beautiful goddess of love. Where is thine boy Cupid, for he has transfixed my heart with one of his arrows!" he said, taking her hand and kissing it tenderly.

"Hey, cool it, Zeusy, she's spoken for," growled Joker, sliding an arm around Harley's waist.

Zeus looked at him. "Ah, I recognize thee now, Hephaestus, blacksmith of the gods and consort to Aphrodite. Thy ugliness is unmistakeable."

"Say what now?" demanded Joker.

"Hephaestus was a god who made Zeus's thunderbolts," explained Crane. "Very unslightly in appearance. He was betrothed to Aphrodite, goddess of love, and most beautiful of all goddesses, who used to carry on dalliances with other gods and mortals behind his back."

Harley laughed. "Well, I ain't her, then," she said, beaming at Joker. "I would never cheat on puddin'."

"You must not contradict the king of gods," retorted Zeus. "You must agree with him and obey him. In all things."

"Um…ok," said Harley, shrugging. "I guess we all got delusions of one kind or another, and it can't hurt to indulge them. There ain't gonna be any harm in playing Greek gods for a while, is there?"

"Well, no, assuming that Zeus doesn't want us to act like them," said Crane. "They were all terribly immoral and pretty insane. Even compared to us, which is saying something."

Zeus raised his hands. "My fellow Olympians, you have made me feel most welcome here! Mighty Zeus has returned home among you all, and he shall never leave again! There is too much pleasure in the company of immortals, especially ones so very beautiful," he murmured at Harley. "I shall see you all anon. Fare thee well."

He left the room. "What a freak," muttered Joker.

"Aw, he seems nice enough, Mr. J," said Harley, shrugging as she sat down next to him. "Couple lightning bolts short of a thunderstorm, but I guess none of us can judge."

"It's too bad he's such a nutjob – he's got a nice build," murmured Ivy. "But I could never date a guy in a skirt."

"Yeah, the weirdos get more ridiculous every year," sighed Joker. "I blame Batsy – he attracts the freaks. Soon every lamewad in Gotham begins to think they can challenge him. Even when their persona is more pathetic than Calendarman's. I was the original and best, you know..."

"Aw, Christ, J, not that old spiel again," sighed Ivy, standing up. "You're really starting to sound like an old man with all this 'back in my day' stuff."

"Well, maybe if we could get rid of a few more of these lame supercriminals, things could go back to the way they were in the good old days," retorted Joker. "Batsy and me and just a couple other freaks to give me the night off every once and a while. But kids these days think that anybody can be a supercriminal as long as you have a goofy name and a fancy costume. But they can't. It takes more than that. It takes natural style and class that only a few people have, y'know."

"Like you, puddin'," cooed Harley, kissing him.

"Yeah, like me," he agreed. "And frankly if I start bumping off a few more of these lame ones, everyone will be thanking me for it. And if he don't watch his mouth, I'll be starting with Maxie Zeus."


	2. Chapter 2

"Good morning, fellow Olympians! Fair Helios has driven his chariot across the sky and trails his brother Eos, the dawn, in his wake!" exclaimed Maxie Zeus as he entered the showers the next morning.

"Hey, ain't that great?" yawned Joker as he picked up the bar of soap. "It's a crime to be that cheerful in the morning," he muttered to Two-Face, who showered next to him. "It's too early for me to smile, and that's saying something."

"Hephaestus, I had expected my usual array of thunderbolts to be awaiting me this fine morn," said Zeus as he stepped into one of the showers. "Why hast thou not done as I commanded?"

"Oh, well, y'see, there was a big mix-up in the whole thunder order," retorted Joker. "They were all out of stock, so they only sent me clouds to work with, and I couldn't do much with that."

"I sense that you mock me," muttered Zeus. "I will not tolerate being made sport of by you, Hephaestus. You are here to serve me."

"Am I now?" asked Joker, smiling. "Ok, Zeusy, I'll find ya a lightning bolt," he said, reaching to unhook the shower head. "And then I'll take that lighting bolt and shove it up your…"

"J, don't," growled Two-Face, seizing his arm. "Just ignore him."

"Ah, wise Janus, thou knowest better than anyone the difficulty of transition," sighed Zeus. "I daresay noble Hephaestus is not yet accustomed to my return. We shall forgive him this once, but if it happens again, Zeus shall not be so merciful."

"I'm telling ya, Harvey, if this guy keeps pushing me, I'm gonna off him," snapped Joker, replacing the shower head and resuming his soaping. "I ain't a tolerant guy at the best of times."

"Thou possesses noble proportions, Janus, and thou too, Hephaestus," said Zeus, looking at them both.

"Erm…thanks," said Two-Face, moving his sponge to cover himself.

"Oh God, you ain't a whoopsie, are ya?" sighed Joker. "It's so awkward showering with guys when you know they're checking you out. It's bad enough with Crane here."

"For the last time, I'm not a homosexual," growled Crane. "And anyway, the Ancient Greek concept of sexuality was very different to our own. It wasn't uncommon for people to have lovers of both genders. Most of the gods indulged in sexual liasions with men and women."

"Well, thank God we live in a more civilized time," muttered Joker. "And I got a girlfriend, Zeusy, so don't even think about it."

"Zeus preferred his lovers to be young," retorted Crane. "I don't think you have anything to worry about, J."

"Hey, he should meet Tetchy!" chuckled Joker. "They'd probably have a lot to talk about!"

"Are there more gods yet to join us here at Olympus?" asked Zeus.

"Well, that all depends on who Batsy feels like dragging in this week," chuckled Joker.

"Ah. So thou hast met my brother Hades, risen from the underworld to claim the souls of mortals," said Zeus, nodding.

"He's who in the what now?" asked Joker.

"Hades is one of Zeus's brothers, dark god of the underworld," explained Crane. "A fitting title for Batman, really."

"It is through his art that I was returned to you here," said Zeus, nodding. "My noble brother found me lost among the mortals on earth and saved me by bringing me back among the gods where I belong. He shall receive his reward when I next journey to his realm of darkness."

"Oh yeah, Zeusy, sounds good," agreed Joker, smiling. "I can send you to the underworld real soon if you wanna."

"Truly, Hephaestus?" asked Zeus. "Thou knowest of a path to Hades's realm?"

"Sure," said Joker. "Bullet right between the eyes'll do it. It's never failed me yet," he chuckled.

"Time's up, boys, let's go," snapped the guard. Everyone reached for their towels as they were escorted out of the showers.

"Hi, puddin'!" called Harley cheerfully, as she and Ivy were escorted from the female showers.

"Pumpkin pie, aren't you looking clean this morning?" chuckled Joker. "Daddy can't wait to dirty you up again!"

Harley giggled. "Same joke, every morning, and she still laughs," growled Ivy. "You're pathetic, you know that, Harley?"

"Glorious Aphrodite, dressed in your toga as you belong only adds to your incredible beauty," said Zeus, bowing low and kissing Harley's hand.

"Oh…thanks, Zeusy," said Harley, surprised.

"And fair Demeter, thou too are an incredible beauty," he said, bowing at Ivy. "Perhaps in the absence of my wife Hera, thou could visit me in my chambers and renew our carnal acquaintance?"

"Do what now?" asked Ivy, eyes narrowing.

"Um…in some mythologies, Zeus and Demeter are lovers," spoke up Crane.

"And you must do as the king of the gods commands," murmured Zeus, taking her hand.

Ivy slapped him hard across the face. "In your dreams, buddy!" she shrieked. "What, you think just because we're all in towels now that we're gonna act like a bunch of Greek freaks?! Well, think again, pal! I don't take commands from any guy, and certainly not some skirt-wearing nutjob! You're lucky I don't beat you into the ground!"

She intended to do just that, but the guards restrained her and dragged them all back to their separate cells.

"Fair Demeter has more of a temper than I remember," said Zeus to himself, rubbing his cheek. "No matter. Aphrodite is the more fair, with hair as golden as Helios's chariot of fire. A fitting consort for the king of the gods in the absence of my own beloved Hera. And mighty Zeus shall not be thwarted in his desires. He shall have Aphrodite for his own, by all the gods in Olympus, he swears it."


	3. Chapter 3

"So you can't recall when his delusion first manifested itself?" asked Dr. Leland gently. "It's very important, Miss Droukas."

Clio Droukas sat with her head in her hands in Dr. Leland's office. "No…I'm sorry, I can't," she murmured. "He was always interested in Greek mythology, art, that kinda thing. And then that interest turned into an obsession, and then he turned into…this. At first he would just slip up from time to time, occasionally talk funny and refer to himself in third person as Zeus, but he'd always recover, y'know. I thought it was a joke or a game at first. But then he…stopped recovering. I don't remember when…"

She paused. "Yes, I do," she murmured. "We were at a costume party, and he went as Zeus. He was really into his character, and everyone was really impressed. On the walk home, we got caught in a thunderstorm. I ran under the trees to get out of the rain, but Maxie just stood there, in the middle of the storm, soaking wet, and declaiming some kinda speech about the power of mighty Zeus. I took him home but he kept raving. And he never stopped raving after that."

Dr. Leland nodded. "I'm just wondering what would happen if we created conditions similar to the one in which his madness took hold. Sometimes that can jolt the patient back into reality – like a kinda déjà vu, only the repetition of the experience puts them back on the right track, instead of the wrong one."

"I'm willing to try anything at this point, Dr. Leland," murmured Clio. "I just want Maxie back."

She wiped her eyes. "He…he doesn't recognize me. After all we've been through together, after all we've shared and…there's just emptiness in his eyes when he looks at me."

Dr. Leland patted her gently on the back. "Maybe this time will be different," she murmured. "Are you ready?"

Clio nodded. Dr. Leland pressed the buzzer on her desk. "Can you please bring in Mr. Zeus?"

The guards entered a moment later, escorting Maxie Zeus, dressed in his usual toga. "Why have you summoned me, daughter?" he asked. "I am occupied in planning how best to possess the most beauteous Aphrodite. Tell me not that thou still bears her jealousy for noble Paris judging her more fair than thee by choosing her gift of love over your gift of wisdom?"

"Erm…no," replied Dr. Leland. "I just wanted to let you know that you have a visitor."

She gestured at Clio, who was gazing at Zeus with tears in her eyes. "Maxie?" she whispered, gently. "Remember me?"

Zeus looked at her in confusion. "Of course, worthy Clio, muse of history and proclaimer of stories. What brings thee to Olympus?"

"I…wanted to see you," she said, slowly. "How are you feeling, Maxie?"

He waved his hand. "The king of the gods cannot be bothered with such trivialites as feelings. He has more important matters to deal with. If thou hast nothing more relevant to say, I would ask to be returned to my chambers so that I may further my plans."

"Maxie, please," whispered Clio. "Come back to me. I know you're still inside there somewhere. I don't know why you've retreated into this mad shell, but whatever the reason, I can help you. We can beat this thing together, if you'll just talk to me and trust me, like you used to," she whispered, laying a hand on his.

He snatched it away. "Impudent wretch! How dare a lesser being such as you even think of touching a god?! Dost thou not know I could rain down thunder and lightning upon your head for such insolence?!"

"Maxie, please," she repeated, as her tears rolled down her cheeks. "Please stop this. Please come back."

He raised his hand. "I am done with thee, lesser being. I am at last returned among my brethren where I belong. Here among the gods at Olympus, I will dwell forever, surrounded by my fellow deities. I shall claim beautiful Aphrodite for my own, and we will be happy and carefree, living out our immortal days in paradise eternal. I need have nothing more to do with the realm of mortals, nor any who dwell within it. I bid thee farewell."

Dr. Leland nodded and the guards escorted him from the room. Clio broke down in tears after he left, and Dr. Leland hugged her, trying to comfort her. Her secretary brought a cup of coffee, which Clio drank reluctantly. "I don't know what he means," she whispered at last.

"Neither do I," replied Dr. Leland. "I've been researching Greek mythology, but I'm no expert. He seems to have identified me in his mind with Athena, goddess of wisdom, which is flattering if nothing else."

"And who's this Aphrodite he was talking about?" she murmured.

"She was the goddess of love. Probably just a person he's invented in his head," said Dr. Leland. "It's not unusual for the insane to create imaginary people as a form of coping mechanism. And if Maxie truly does believe this is Olympus, it's only appropriate that his mind would invent gods to keep him company here."

"I'll do anything, Dr. Leland," whispered Clio. "If there is some chance of bringing him back to the way he was, I give it my full consent."

Dr. Leland nodded again, standing up and looking out the window. "Then we need to wait for a storm," she said.

One was about to come sooner than she thought.


	4. Chapter 4

Harley Quinn combed her hair out, smiling at her reflection in the mirror. She glanced at the clock for about the thousandth time, then kissed the picture of the Joker by her bed and reached for a hairpin, which she used to fiddle the lock on her cell door. She skipped down the hall, humming to herself.

"A fair evening, is it not, fair one?" murmured a voice.

Harley jumped in surprise and turned around, but her face relaxed in a smile when she saw who was standing behind her.

"Oh, Zeusy, it's just you!" she said. "You kinda scared me sneaking up on me like that…"

"Whither are you bound, most beautiful of all goddesses?" asked Zeus.

"Whither…what? Oh, I'm just off to see Mr. J," said Harley, smiling. "Time for a conjugal visit, y'know…"

"You should not debase yourself by seeking pleasure in the arms of one so grotesque," interrupted Zeus. "Your loyalty to your consort is admirable, but frankly surprising, and it makes my heart shudder to think of beauty such as yours violated by so base and unsightly a brute."

"Mr. J's the most handsome man in the world," retorted Harley.

"You need not speak such lies to me," murmured Zeus. "Although I granted you to him as his bride, I understand why you would be reluctant to consummate your union, and I sympathize with your desire for other lovers. Where is noble Ares?"

"I…dunno who that is," said Harley slowly.

"Of course you do," he replied. "Young, handsome, strong, virile, muscular, powerful, passionate, violent god of war – he has shared your bed many times."

"Hey, the only guy who has ever shared my bed is Mr. J!" snapped Harley. "And he's the most violent guy around, so this Ares jerk can do one!"

"You are passionate too, most beauteous Aphrodite," murmured Zeus. "You deserve better than that clownish lover. You deserve the king of the gods."

"Um…look, Zeusy, I'm real flattered and all…" began Harley slowly. "But I kinda got a boyfriend, so…y'know. Sorry and everything – hope it don't hurt too badly and that we can still be friends…"

She began to walk off, but Zeus seized her arm. "Nobody may refuse the king of the gods," he murmured. "He will be obeyed in all things."

"Not if he wants me to cheat on Mr. J, he won't!" snapped Harley, wrenching her arm away. "Now beat it, Zeusy, before I get angry!"

"Do not defy the king of the gods…" began Zeus, grabbing her, but she kneed him in the groin and he released her, gasping.

"If the king of the gods wants to keep his manhood, he better back the hell off!" shrieked Harley. "I ain't kidding!"

"Your resistance…only makes you…more desirable," hissed Zeus, straightening up slowly. "Mighty Zeus has always enjoyed the thrill of the hunt, and the glory of conquest after a battle."

"This ain't a battle you're gonna win," hissed Harley. "And if Mr. J finds out…"

"Why would I fear the wrath of my deformed slave?" interrupted Zeus.

Harley kicked him violently in the face. "Mr. J ain't nobody's slave!" she shrieked. "And he ain't deformed! He's the most handsome, perfect man in the world, ya creep!"

She raised a fist to punch him, but he caught her arm and bent it back, seizing her around the waist and tossing her over his shoulder. "Thou shall be mine, lovely one, whether by thy will or no," he said as she screamed and struggled against him.

"Aw, Jesus Christ…why do I always attract the weirdos?!" cried Harley, pummeling against Zeus's back. "Oh, no offense, Mr. J," she said, as she suddenly noticed the Joker sneaking up behind Zeus. Then her eyes widened in realization and she shrieked, "Mr. J! Help!"

"That's what I was trying to do, you stupid woman!" Joker shouted as Zeus whirled around to face him. "But you ruined the element of surprise, you dumb broad! I don't even know why I should save you now!"

"Stay back, Hephaestus," commanded Zeus. "I gave thee Aphrodite, and I can take her away."

"The hell you did!" snapped Joker. "I was the one who broke her mind! She's the way she is now because of me, and I ain't gonna let some weirdo in a skirt damage my property!"

"I understand thy jealousy, Hephaestus, but I far from her only lover," said Zeus, nodding.

"That's a goddamn lie, Mr. J!" shrieked Harley. "I ain't ever had anyone else but you! And I didn't encourage this lunatic!"

"Do not challenge the king of the gods!" commanded Zeus. "Begone, Hephaestus, and return only when thou hast my lightning bolts!"

"Oh, I got your lightning bolts right here, Zeusy!" shouted Joker, seizing his hand. The joy-buzzer on his glove sent a shock shooting through Zeus which made him immediately release Harley, who fell to the ground with a shriek. Joker continued to shock Zeus until he lost consciousness, and then pulled off the joy buzzer, kicking him for good measure.

"Pathetic nutjob," he muttered. "You ok, pooh?"

"Yeah," said Harley, standing up and rubbing her backside. "Thanks for rescuing me, puddin'. How did you know I was in trouble?"

He shrugged. "We were meant to be meeting at ten. When you were a minute late, I knew something terrible had happened to you. My Harley girl would never be late for playtime with Daddy."

Harley squeaked happily and kissed him. "So what are we gonna do with this loser?" she asked, looking down at Zeus.

"Oh, I got an idea, pooh," chuckled Joker. "Help me drag him to electrotherapy. Since he wants his lightning bolts so badly, we'll see that he gets them!" he laughed. "All 20,000 volts of 'em!"


	5. Chapter 5

"Thank you for coming, Batman," said Dr. Leland. "I just wanted you to be on hand in case I'm wrong about this, and the recreation only makes his condition worse."

"It's worth a try," agreed Batman. "And it looks like we're in for quite a storm."

He glanced out the window of Dr. Leland's office at the approaching thunderclouds. "As soon as Miss Droukas arrives, we'll collect Zeus and take him outside," said Dr. Leland. "It's likely nothing will happen – we might just all look like complete idiots standing out in the middle of storm. But a little rain never hurt anyone."

"No," agreed Batman. "Don't much like the look of that lightning, though."

The door to Dr. Leland's office opened and Clio entered the room. "Are you ready, Miss Droukas?" asked Dr. Leland.

She nodded, and they all three left the office and headed into the cell block and down the corridor to Zeus's room. It was empty.

"He's not here," said Dr. Leland, surprised.

"Where is he?" asked Clio.

"I don't…um…know," stammered Dr. Leland. Well, this was embarrassing, she thought, as she looked around the empty cell. Batman too was studying, not the room, but the rest of the cell block.

"Where's the Joker?" he asked suddenly. "And Harley Quinn?"

"They're missing too?" asked Dr. Leland, rushing over to their cells. "I don't understand…"

"I didn't realize security was a problem here," said Clio.

Understatement of the century, thought Dr. Leland glumly. Batman kneeled down to study the ground for a moment, then said, "Follow me."

They obeyed as Batman followed the heat traces to the electrotherapy room. "Stand back," he commanded, and then he kicked down the door.

"Hope you're gonna make him pay for that door, Doc!" laughed the Joker's voice. "It's always puzzled me, Batsy, how you're so concerned about stopping crime, but you have no qualms about racking up millions of dollars worth of property damage. Is there some kinda Bat charity that pays for all this stuff? Or do you just not believe in materialism?"

Batman saw Maxie Zeus strapped to the metal electrotherapy table, while Harley was standing over by the switches as the Joker rewired the connections to amplify the power.

Zeus suddenly noticed them. "Brother Hades!" he exclaimed. "And daughter Athena! There is treachery afoot in Olympus! My unsightly slave Hephaestus and consort Aphrodite are conspiring against mighty Zeus!"

"For the last time, I ain't your goddamn slave!" shouted Joker.

"And I ain't this Aphrodite tramp!" shrieked Harley.

"Aphrodite?" repeated Dr. Leland. "Oh…you mean Zeus…"

"Ain't got no respect for women!" shrieked Harley. "When a gal says no, she means no, buster!"

"Oh, he'll learn, pooh," chuckled Joker. "You ready for your lightning bolts now, Zeusy?" he laughed. "Think I finally got them made for ya after all!"

"Don't!" cried Batman, but Harley had already pulled the switch. The rerouted wires began fizzing and smoking at the overloaded power, as the electrical current traveled from the wall and through the ceiling. They suddenly heard a crack, and looked up to see that the ceiling was breaking apart under the strain.

"Get out of the way!" shouted Batman, leaping at Harley and shoving her towards the door. He seized a table and threw it over Zeus, grabbing Joker and ducking underneath it. A moment later, the ceiling fell inward, leaving the room open to the storming sky.

Batman lifted off the table covered in rubble and looked around. "Thou art not my brother Hades after all," murmured Zeus, impressed. "Thou art the hero Herakles, whose strength brought him great renown."

"Oh, give it up, Zeusy," groaned Joker. "If you really are the god of lightning, why doncha prove it? Why doncha command that lightning there to…"

He was cut off as a lightning bolt struck the metal table, sending a powerful electric shock through Maxie Zeus. Clio screamed, racing over to him. "Maxie!" she cried. "Maxie, are you ok?"

He stared at her with a strange expression on his face. "Clio?" he murmured. "Baby, is that you?"

"Maxie?" she whispered, hopefully. "You remember me?"

"Of course I remember you, baby," he said. "I could never forget you, my love. Who are these people?" he asked, looking around the room. "What's going on? Is that the Joker?"

"Oh, now he recognizes me!" snapped Joker. "So I'm suddenly not Hephaestus anymore, huh, Zeusy?"

"Hephaestus?" repeated Zeus. "Why would you be him?"

"I dunno – you tell me!" snapped Joker. "You were the one calling us this crap! Doncha remember? Aphrodite there? Hades? Athena?"

Zeus looked at him blankly. "I…um…didn't know you were a fan of Greek mythology."

"Well, I'm certainly not now, thanks to you!" shouted Joker.

Zeus stared at him. "He's crazy, right, Clio?" he asked. "He's just babbling nonsense."

"Yeah, baby," she whispered, beaming. "But thank God you're not anymore."

She hugged him tightly as Dr. Leland untied him. Batman grabbed Joker and Harley and dragged them back toward the cell block. "So he was cured by being struck by lightning?" demanded Joker. "That's the lamest thing I ever heard! And I was gonna shock him anyway! I would have cured him, and I would have been a goddamn hero!"

"Well, you already are a god, puddin'," breathed Harley, smiling. "You wanna go all Greek god on your little goddess?"

"No," he snapped. "I don't ever wanna hear anything about Greek mythology ever again. Bunch of sick, twisted, skirt-wearing psychos."

"Said the pot to the kettle," muttered Batman, shoving him back into his cell.

"I don't wear skirts!" shouted Joker. Then he grinned. "Unless you want me to, Batsy!"

"Thanks, but I'd rather not have to goudge my own eyes out," retorted Batman.

"Aw, but then you could be blind as a bat!" chuckled Joker. "What a gag! I'll see what I can borrow of Harley's for our next encounter," he said, grinning.

Batman sighed. "Great," he muttered, heading out of the cell block. Greek heroes never had to deal with this.

**The End**


End file.
